Mental Health + Expectations

I am a third generation Indian-American. This means that my grandparents moved here in the 1960s, and my parents were born in the US. This means my family dynamic differs completely from many other Indian-Americans. The pressure to do well in academic pursuits you hear that’s so common from Indian parents doesn’t hold true in my case, instead it’s my grandparents that hold this view. Many immigrant parents are villainized because of the unreasonable standards they seem to have for their children, which causes extreme amounts of stress on the child's part, however this is only due to their immigrant background and them wanting a better life for their children than they had themselves. Many of my peers are envious of my lack of parental pressure, however sometimes the burden of my grandparents expectations can feel just as heavy. One of my grandparents expects me to attend Harvard and the other Oxford. Because they are my grandparents I hold them on an extra pedestal, and it feels even more painful to let them down than it would my parents. They have such high hopes for me, their image of me built up so perfect, that I would do anything to uphold it. Hence why I have another set of expectations I am pushing myself to live up to and another thing pushing my mental health to the brink. Expectations, whether from yourself, your peers, your friends, or your family, can be the ultimate detriment to your mental health. At the end of the day they should hold value, but not to the point where it becomes problematic. I am sure, as much talk as people around you have for what they expect you to be, they would rather you be happy than drown yourself in unattainable expectations.