Value of Work

A few days ago, July 5th, I received my scores back from my AP Drawing portfolio. I logged into my Collegeboard account, eager to see the outcomes of my work, and was disappointed to find that I had received a 3 out of 5. I worked for the entirety of my Junior year on my portfolio, correcting even the most tiny of details until I could proudly call it mine. Those nine months of work felt as if they were crumbling when I saw that number. Despite still passing the exam, I did not do nearly as good as I would have hoped. I spent the majority of July 5th looking back at my work, trying to see where things could have gone wrong. Was it in my stippling technique? Were my proportions distorted? Had my artist statement not been descriptive enough? Questions like these flooded my brain to the point where it was all I could think about. That thinking bled into the next day and the next, and before I could realize it, I was consumed with the idea of others’ value of my work. If people weren’t affected by my art, why am I even creating it? Maybe I should quit.

It wasn’t only yesterday that I realized how ridiculous I sounded. One of the biggest and most stressed parts of art criticism is the idea of subjective interpretation. The value of art changes according to the viewer. I am going to value a drawing of a sea horse more than my sister would because of my genuine interest for marine life. How we view art is not a one dimensional point. We view art based on our own compounding life experiences. Everything is up for interpretation. Therefore, the AP graders’ opinion of my work should not diminish the true value of it. I create based on my own experiences and life connections, not on the account of others. I am able to now recognize my score, and accept it. I know there are things I need to work on, techniques I need to perfect, but my art is still valuable.